What’s holding you back from making a permanent change this year whether it be in your work, private or family life? The New Year’s tradition has become a sort of joke, but there’s something right about setting a goal for the coming year – to set your sights on self-improvement? One reason why resolutions might go wrong is their origin — we often set our resolutions from a place of fear, shame or lack of confidence.
We’re not producing enough… we’re not smart enough… we don’t have enough money. When those are the primary engines that drive our resolutions, it’s no wonder that they don’t truly motivate us to success.
So instead of using fear as fake fuel to move forward, I recommend you set an “anti-resolution” to work on embracing and accepting you as you are to be more loving and accepting of yourself. Develop that self-acceptance and you’ll be much more likely to generate other goals that truly motivate you to succeed. Clients and therapists are always telling me that they will start training with me or attend course when they ‘ve lost weight, changed jobs, moved house…………………..
I always say “Start where you are”.
We need to be accepting of where we are and also be satisfied with who we are. Western society makes us think that we are not good enough, did not make enough. We become unsatisfied and wonder what we are going to accomplish next. Our ego creates control and a lot of need to accomplish one thing after the other. This goes back to our ancestral health and negativity in the environment in which we lived. We had to survive and that mechanism still plays through to today.
If we think we are never enough we never fill the black hole. It constantly resides in us and we end up looking for validation as kids and then still want validation as adults. How much do we compete and compare with the outside world? We need to explore and accept our inner self and not put others down. We must enjoy our creations, accept and praise others achievements.
It’s like sleep, by not getting enough we become less productive and mentally insufficient, by getting enough sleep we are optimal and also can reduce pain. We celebrate ourselves through criticism rather than through celebration. Everything we do externally is a mirror aspect or our internal self. So take time to create space and ingest where you are. Where do you feel unbalanced, too much, too little? Balance is the key not static but dynamic.
So if you want to make a change and set goals this year, notice what you normally don’t notice and it will help you to make the change inside your box. Always have empathy and compassion for self.
Jatorre Pierre – Chek blog
“You can heal your life”- Louise Hay
“Goal”- Eliyahu M.Goldratt