Why do we wait till the New Year to start a new diet, lifestyle, exercise program or so on? We are always waiting to be slimmer, brighter, or something else in order to pursue the next stage of our life. Seize the day, be your own authentic self and don’t wait for tomorrow to change. Start now, let your emotions come through to your friends, co workers and family. It is one less mask to carry and your fastest way to finding your own potential. When we hide emotion, it simply becomes a burden. Be radical, honest, straight and open. Our vulnerability goes through the roof when we share the aspects of ourselves that we hate and we typically want no one to know about us. Be kind to yourself and respect yourself. Do our behaviours take us closer to our goals in life or are we just people and family pleasing? Our family and loved ones can be our biggest challenge and our biggest gift.
You will find that the more proving and defending you have to do in life, the more insecure it makes you feel. Our self esteem does not allow us to be vulnerable. We are taught from childhood, particularly in men, that boys don’t cry and to toughen up. Social media portrays perfection, with no flaws – only idealism. I feel it’s important to show the imperfections in order to connect with everyone in life.
There is a beautiful quiet that says it all: “Every courageous life is lived in the grit and dirt of existence.” No matter what you see, read and hear of people, there is always another story. Courage is: “having strength in the face of pain or grief.” Courage is the ability to act on one’s beliefs despite danger or disapproval. Living fearlessly is not about being tougher than the next guy, or being immune to feeling afraid in the grips of a perceived danger, or feeling overly confident in the presence of the unknown. It is not about overcoming fear either. It is more about befriending fear and loving yourself just the way you are, really.
Our environment can and will affect our growth and truth, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. When we put on excess weight or build a body of hard muscle this is what is known as a barrier dysfunction in psychology. It is not only a barrier to the outside world but its also a barrier to our inside world. Stanley Keleman went into this in great depth in his book; “Emotional Anatomy”. This is a physical manifestation or emotional challenge with the outside world also the soul. What goes on in the inside of the body is always projected onto the outside world.
Ask yourself: How do I show up to others? How do I communicate? When we talk to others negatively, it’s a reflection of the way we talk to ourselves.
Pain neuroscience now tells us that uncertainty is the biggest driver for people with persistent pain. The answer is perhaps not to give certainty, but to become more comfortable with the uncertainty, the vulnerability, thus retraining the central nervous system not to be in a state of fight or flight. Lets face it – we have had plenty of practice getting ourself uncomfortable with uncertainty during COVID -19.
A perfect timeline is linear, that would be the yang in life. When we get surprises, these rock our timeline and are the yin aspects being thrown in. As Osho says, we are here to experience the fruits and challenges in life, it should not be plain sailing. The pain teacher always teaches us that we are not just the physical, we are the mental, emotional, spiritual and astral too. Where have you learned more in life in pleasure or in pain? Suffering or joy? I have become the best possible version of me by being in pain or suffering, I have learnt so much more from this, rather than being in pleasure.
Carolyn Myss talks about the victim archetype. As we have more problems, stress builds up more energy circuits of victimhood. In order to not dwell on the negatives we need to move our direction of energy. It’s a medically researched fact that our thoughts effect our body. The mind is an embodied process that regulates, emotion, thoughts, beliefs and prejudices. This is energeti . “The mind is not enskulled, it is embodied” – Dan Siegal. Lots of negative thoughts create woundology. Four things that disrupt our HPAXIS (short for hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis. … The HPA axis is a term used to represent the interaction between the hypothalamus, pituitary gland, and adrenal glands; it plays an important role in the stress response) are as follows:
1. Perception – every cell is effected with out thoughts, beliefs and prejudices. Having the ability to look at our shadow and own it can and will change our wounds. Spinning the wheels of wounded behaviour, regurgitating the same story unconsciously creates more wounding and drives the story deeper. Stop spinning that same story. Do we gain benefit by sharing our wounds? Observe what we actually say out loud. Look at our speech, reaction, eyes, voice, words and vocal inflection. What did you last hear yourself say? Stop getting lost in that story! Reflect what you are saying, thinking and doing.
Hidden, emotional trauma can impact genetic expression. Dr. Rudolf Tanzi and Deepak Chopra’s book “Supergenes” goes into this in more depth. They state tat the 4 things that affect the HPAXIS are:
1.Perception (this is the main thing that drives the HPAXIS).
2. Blood sugar.
3. Circadian rhythm.
4. Low grade chronic inflammation.
Most of us live in low grade chronic inflammation. The underlying environment creates our genetics, our internal environment is our perception of our self.
Clients are always telling me they have the fat gene. Depending on which medical paper you read, 10% of all disease is genetic and 90% is to do with our environment. The 10% can be argued as being carried over four generations, a repeat of behaviour and lifestyle. The language that we use and that is tied in around us effects our epigenetic. Our behavioural programming happens in the first seven years which is the theta/delta stage. Ayurveda teaches us about the tribes and sentienery in life. Our second sentienery is to rationalise and question what we are taught.
Lean into every moment in life, become an opportunist and a treasure hunter. If you want to know your future, look at your past. Break the habits of the past, break down your cages and barriers, as there is so much to be explored. If you want to explore and find your innocence, get hurt and scared and then you will never go back there agin. Notice the blocks, where did you feel a sense of fear? Did you take the option of exploring curiosity? Lean to sit and be comfortable in some of the places.